So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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