Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
