you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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