But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
