I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
