Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
