dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
