carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
