I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
