Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
