i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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