Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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