May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
