Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
