Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
