Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
