it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
True college students do jello shots in the library
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