So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
