At least make sure they are 18
Why
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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