Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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