HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
