nut hugger
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
