I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
