clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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