she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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