How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
