Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
