I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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