the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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