you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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