I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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