very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
