I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
