batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
