Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
