if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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