i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
