im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
