I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
ttyl tear gas
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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