omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
