i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
can u get pink eye on your cock?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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