my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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