Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
