you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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