I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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