A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
