Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
