we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
