Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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