have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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