Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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