I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
