Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
