Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
