Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
