I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can you bring me the toilet please
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
