guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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