Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
