I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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